Ramblings of a Christian Mom

²³ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

It’s funny how reading the same verse can bring different meaning to different readers. After reading this verse, found in Hebrews 10, I turned to the study notes in my Bible to find that what had come to my mind was a different message than what the notes said. Was I wrong? I don’t think so; I think both messages apply, and probably many more are wrapped up in the same verse too. But I’ll let you decide (yes, that means if you want to share your opinion, you need to read this).

I don’t know about you, but I struggle a fair bit with totally being convinced of my salvation. I wonder sometimes if I’m truly saved, and worry that I might be among those whom Jesus says “Go from Me, for I do not know you” come Judgment Day. Because of these concerns that Satan throws at me from time to time, this verse was great affirmation and comfort to me regarding my salvation.

To me, this verse meant that I could cast away my doubts, and hold fast to my salvation without worrying because God has promised me that if I were to believe in His Son I would have eternal life (John 3:16). God is faithful, and doesn’t break His promises. There are no conditions, no fine print that He’s hoping we don’t take the time to read, no “hidden costs.”

My study Bible (which is the MacArthur Study Bible) takes a different route on this verse. It suggests that the verse is referring to being led astray. It goes on to say that the verse is telling us to hold tightly to our salvation so as not to be distracted by the world, so that we will not waver with temptation of sin, for God is faithful and will always provide an escape from these temptations.

Both are wonderful, comforting, and affirming messages. Both are completely different messages, wrapped up in the same  few words. Are either wrong? I don’t think so. When reading that verse, Hebrews 10:23, what message did God put into your heart?

Do you? I’m asking this sincerely. Do you truly believe you deserve to be happy? If so, why? Again, not an attack..a sincere question.

God wants us to be happy. Of course he does! He’s our Father, He loves us, He wants only the best for us. But sometimes happiness isn’t in our best interest.

I’ve been really depressed lately, and I have come to realize (more likely, God has shown me) that I struggle with a lot of pride; feeling entitled to what I think I should have or want. I tend to pray to God for things expecting to receive them, but then when I don’t I feel gypped. Sort of like how Jonah felt I guess when God provided him with the plant to shade him, then took it away the next day.

It’s hard. We live in a very competitive world. And we’re taught from the start that “we deserve everything we want.” But do we?

God is the author of all good. We’re all sinners. So technically, we deserve nothing from Him. Yet how much does he give us? Well, life to start with. Each new day is a blessing, no matter what may come to pass in it.

Family, friends, the freedom to love Christ openly without fear or death or torture. A place to live, clothes and blankets and heating to protect us from the cold. Food, and more food, and even more food. Gadgets, trinkets, games, toys. Cars. The skills we use in our occupations to earn the money we bring home. Our health.

We have so much already that we did nothing to earn! Sure, God wants us to be happy..but He wants us to have what we need even more.

I have two young children. I want them to be happy. But at what cost? If when they’re older, they do something that is not allowed, Mom isn’t going to buy the excuse, “But don’t you want me to be happy? I was just doing what made me happy!”

So why should God accept that excuse? He doesn’t want us to be happy for the cost of disobedience. That’s smacking an “I know better than you do, God” attitude right in His face.

In the same light, we aren’t entitled to be happy all the time. God will allow us to go through trials in our lives to build our character. One doesn’t build patience if he always gets what he wants right away. One doesn’t build self-control if he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. One doesn’t become financially responsible if he never has to deal with financial strain.

Instead of feeling entitled to be happy all the time, we need to be joyful in whatever situation we find ourselves in. No matter what trials we may face, God will somehow use it for good if we will trust in Him through the hard times.

Lately I’ve really..i mean really…been struggling with no sleep. My daughter was getting up about every hour in the night, for over a month. Top that with my son getting up early in the morning, and my own insomnia, and a few other factors that stole precious sleep time from me, and I was just exhausted.

And it felt like God was ignoring me. I mean, here I was praying for sleep, and it just didn’t happen. I argued with God that hey, sleep is a physical need…people DIE without sleep…He promises to take care of us, so how come he wasn’t letting me get a few solid hours of restful shut eye? I wasn’t asking Him to move a mountain or something, just to let my baby girl, and myself, get 4 or more hours of sleep in a single stretch.

Yet it never happened, for weeks. I was tired, depressed, cranky, and hurt that God wasn’t listening to me. But finally, I stopped focusing on it. I stopped complaining about it. And go figure, we let our Annabel, our daughter, cry just a bit longer one night, and since then, she’s been sleeping great. Before she would always wake up about an hour after going to bed, needing to burp..the last 2 or 3 nights she hasn’t even done that. Instead of waking every hour or two, she’s only been getting up twice in the night to eat quickly, once in the morning (around 6-7am) then sleeping again til 9!

Sorry God that I didn’t trust you to take care of me. Sorry that I argued your ways. Sorry that I thought you had broken your promise to me. Please forgive me, and help me to become stronger in my faith. Thank you for meeting my needs. Thank you for hearing and listening to my prayers. Thank you for loving me even when I’m mad at you. Amen.

We live in a society in which it can be hard to ask for help. We want to be self-sufficient.  It seems as though a person’s worth is based on performance and abilities. Don’t get me wrong; we’re getting better! We’re realizing that sometimes people need help, and there are many organizations out there devoted solely to helping those in need. But how many people, even Christians, go to God first?

Isaiah 8:19-20 tells us

       19Some people say, “Ask the medium and fortune-tellers, who whisper and mutter, what to do.” But I tell you that  people should ask their God for help. Why should people who are still alive ask something from the dead? 20You should follow the teachings and the agreement with the Lord. The mediums and fortune-tellers do not speak the word of the Lord, so their words are worth nothing.

How many times have you heard someone say something along the lines of “I should just stay indoors this week; my horoscope said I’ll have bad luck.”

What does the writer of a newspaper column, which has the purpose of entertainment, not enrichment, know about the future?

Many times I’ve heard people offer to pray for a friend, then proceed to pray to a saint. When I’ve asked why, they replied that the saint will take the request to God, sort of a messenger-type process. There may be other reasons out there, but this is what I’ve been told by a few people.

But why? God doesn’t need a message service. He’s right HERE! We don’t need to pray to angels or saints. To be blunt, the saints people pray to are just dead people. What ability do they have to answer prayer? Or even hear prayer?

I tend to be a problem solver. I want to do thing on my own. I tend to find at least some of my worth through making things better for my family; my husband and children. I tend to forget to bring my hardships to God until much later, by which point I’ve already tried and failed and crashed and burned. Why don’t I go RIGHT to God? I’ll let you know when I figure it out…

I know that most of you probably don’t read or put much, if any, faith in horoscopes. I know that most of you probably don’t pray to saints. However, I suspect that many of you are like me: the “I can do it myself, oops I failed, can you help me now, God?” type.

Bring your troubles to God! He’s more than willing, and more than able, to lead you through the hard times life will throw at you. Don’t take my word for it; take His.

As a culture, we are very pleasure seeking. We know what we like and what we want, and we like to get what we want. So when we want something that maybe isn’t the best thing for us, we try to justify it. One of the main excuses I hear is “God gave us free will, so I can do what I want. God wants me to be happy.”

In case I’m missing something, where does it say in the Bible that we can do what makes us happy, even if it goes against God’s teaching?

God did give us free will; that much is true. Everything we do is a choice. We choose what we do and what we say. But what is God’s purpose of free will? Did He just give us free will to keep things from being too boring? Did He give us free will for His entertainment? (No, I don’t believe that God laughs at us, I’m just using this as an example since there are many people who DO believe this.) Did He give us free will so we can just do what we want, when we want, whatever makes us happy?

NO!

Galations 5:13 tells us clearly what the purpose of free will is!

^“13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. ” (NKJV)

The NIV words it this way:

^“13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature^[a]; rather, serve one another in love.”

We do not have freedom to use on ourselves, for our own fleshly desires. We have freedom of choice, because we are called to serve others. Remember, the greatest commandment is to love our God, and to love each other. Love is a choice! And to show others that we are choosing to love them, we are called to serve them!

Matthew 20:28 reminds us that Jesus, the King of kings, did not come to be served, but to serve! And we are called to do the same.

Notice at the end of Galations 5:13, it specifies that we are to serve in LOVE. God doesn’t want us to serve grudginly. He wants us to serve because we are loving the other person, not out of duty. Remember, love is a choice. Even if we’re angry at the person, we can choose to love them through our actions. What would Jesus do? He loved those who beat and killed him! He understood to the full extent what it meant to love those who hated him.

Our free will wasn’t given to us so that we could fulfill our flesh. Yes, God wants us to be happy. But happiness on earth isn’t our purpose in life. Our purpose to life is to get closer to God, and loving others comes naturally with this. Serving others comes naturally with love.

One might say, “You want me to love my enemy, and I have to serve them too?!” But that’s missing the point. Service comes with the love naturally. So love each other, and serve each other.

And what about your needs? If you spend all your time serving others, what if they don’t serve you back and your own needs get neglected?

Take your needs to the God of Heaven and Earth! He imagined and created the mountains and the canyons. The stars and the suns and the planets. He knows you, and he knows what you need.

God will take care of you.

I’ve started to read through the Psalms, and my study Bible included this chart, which I thought I would share with you. This chart is copyright 1993 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

When we’re at our lowest, often it can feel like God has abandoned us. After all, how could He let us get hurt if He were near us?

Unfortunately, we live in a world full of evil. Bad things often happen as the result of a choice; either a choice we’ve made, or someone else has made. Even though we follow Christ, we must still live in the same world, filled with the same evil, as everyone else. God doesn’t promise us that it’ll be easy. In fact, He promises us that it won’t be.

So where is God when bad things happen? When our heart is broken as a result of something that’s hurt us in our lives, where is the Father who created us?

Psalm 34:18 promises us that God is right here with us!

“The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.  “

He isn’t watching from a distance as we struggle with pain and heartache. He isn’t looking the other way, distracted by other things that are “more important.”

“More important” doesn’t exist for God! He loves us all to the highest measure. Remember, God IS love! His entirety his love. Everything He feels for us is LOVE.

Contrite is defined as “very much crushed, broken very small” by http://www.blueletterbible.org/.

When we are at our absolute lowest of lows, when our spirit is crushed to the consistency of dust, God will save us! He promises this.

Rely on God to carry you through the dark times in your life. When you feel alone, remember Psalm 34:18. I encourage you to write it down somewhere you will see it. And believe it!

This past Sunday my pastor spoke on a topic that really got to me, and I wanted to share.

We’re all familiar in some way with the verses Matthew 22: 37-40″

  Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

But have you really thought about what it means?

Many churches and Christians have gotten so obsessed with doing the “right and Godly” thing, that they’ve forgotten the foundation of it all. Jesus just told us in Matthew that the greatest commandment is love. Yet too often, people have told me that their biggest turn off about the church is how loveless it can feel. How judgmental and criticizing. I spoke to one woman who told me that as a girl she was abused many times, sexually and physically. She one day went into a church as a teen, sincerely looking for help..and was literally thrown out because of her past. Where was the love?

How many Christian parents have thrown out their own children from the house because their lifestyle isn’t Godly? Where’s the love?

I could go on and on with examples. How God must cry when His children claim to love Him, yet don’t show love to their neighbour.

God doesn’t play favourites. What gives us the right to? We are all His children. He loves us all, and He’s the one who by all rights has the most reasons to disown us. Yet He never will.

 We are all sinners. None of us are better than another, in God’s eyes. He has the same love, grace, and mercy for all of us. We need to do the same for each other. We can try as hard as possible to avoid all things against God, but if we don’t remember that love comes first, we’ve missed the whole point. This isn’t an “I’m a better Christian than you” competition. We aren’t trying to earn Brownie points to get God’s favour.

Jesus touched a leper. That went against all the rules in the day. But it was out of love, and that’s what mattered.

Jesus saved an adulteress from being stoned. Stoning was the law for such a case, but he stood against law for the sake of love.

What are your initial reactions  to those who don’t live how the church teaches? Is it a reaction of love or stereotype and judging?

If we don’t put love first, nothing else matters because we’ve missed the point; our motives aren’t right.

One of (my many) struggles is believing that I’m good enough. I don’t feel like I’m a good enough wife, mother, Christian. I have a tendency to ignore my positive attributes and become solely focused on the negative. I think women in general believe they have high standards to live up to; in many cases, impossible standards that the world (ie, Satan) throws in our face that make us feel like failures.

If you struggle with this, I can empathize.

But look at Colossians 2:10: “and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” (NKJV)

We care complete in Christ! He makes us whole. How can we not be good enough, if we are everything in Christ?

Yes, I know. This is another one of those “easier said than done”, or “I see it but how do I make myself believe it” things. I am in the same boat. Knowing something with your head doesn’t mean your heart will agree. We’ve all heard the phrase “follow your heart; it’ll tell you what to do”, but that doesn’t apply here. We need to follow our heads, until the heart gets on track.

When you hear Satan whisper to you (yes, it’s Satan that does this) that you’re not good enough, remind yourself that you are complete in Christ, and therefore you must be good enough. Every time, remind yourself that God made us in His image; you didn’t miss the “will make a good wife” line, or get lost looking for the “will make a good mother” line. God didn’t miss anything when He created you. Eventually, your heart will believe this as well.

You are good enough, and so am I.

I’ve just started reading Sharon James’ book “I’m Not Good Enough” …and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves, and was flipping through the pages at the end which list the Lies and Truths that are discussed throughout the book. One that stuck out to me was “I’m used goods.”

I think a lot of women have a tendency to hang onto the past. I know I do. I’ll randomly think of things I’ve done in the past that I made mistakes with, and thoughts will come to mind like “I’m so stupid, how could I have screwed up that bad?” even over events that happened years ago, and probably no one else remembers other than me.

When we think these thoughts; when we hand onto the past and beat ourselves down about the bad stuff that’s happened, we start to believe that we’re not worthy of forgiveness, that we are being punished for our mistakes years past the event, that we’re just no good any more.

I tend to tread more along the lines of “I’m continuously being punished for past mistakes”, myself.

But I know this isn’t true. I just need to really start to believe it; that’s the hard part. It can be difficult and painful to get your heart and your brain working together, on the same page.

2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Our past mistakes don’t matter to God. He loves us and forgives us. And if He truly forgives us, why would He continue to punish us? He wouldn’t! And He doesn’t. We punish ourselves, because we believe Satan when he tells us we aren’t worthy of true forgiveness.

When we accept Christ, we become brand new in God’s eyes. The past doesn’t matter anymore; as far as God is concerned, it doesn’t exist. And even if (when) we make mistakes after we’ve already accepted Christ, those will be forgiven too. We just need to ask.

I don’t know why I struggle so much with forgiving myself. I don’t know why others struggle, either. I DO know that these lies are spoken by the enemy, as for some reason, we believe him.

I encourage you to speak against these lies. I’ll try to do the same. When you hear the devil whisper those words to you….“you aren’t good enough” … “you deserved to be punished” … “you’re stupid and unworthy”… Speak against them in Jesus’ name. Repeat 2 Corinthians 5:17. Write it out, and post it somewhere in view. On the bathroom mirror, at your work desk, on the kitchen wall.

You are not “used goods.” You are not “damaged goods.” Your past does not have to define you. God loves you! He forgives you! So follow his lead and forgive yourself.